Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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