I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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