Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
