"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
home. puking in laundry basket.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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