what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
