so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
