just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He passed out mid-signature
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
