At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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