yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
