a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I will be naked everywhere
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
