The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
