those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize