i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
