if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
People with herpes should wear stickers.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
