Cold hands, warm shart.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
