No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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