I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
