If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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