Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
