how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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