You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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