I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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