she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
