She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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