My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just made my gag reflex go away.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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