just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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