my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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