love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
