Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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