Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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