Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
