You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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