i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
