Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
