There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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