areolas are like halos for boobs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize