You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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