i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
