is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
