So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
