my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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