So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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