doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
