Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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