and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
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