a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
