how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize