So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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