i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
