3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
