I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
