But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
