i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
