oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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