im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
