I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
