Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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